After Jazz Prayed For Her Friends. . .

As I look back on the year 2013. . .what a year it’s been! This blog is to encourage those in the midst of a crazy circumstance(s). PLEASE HOLD ON TO GOD’S UNCHANGING HAND. It may appear to be unbearable but constantly seek the Lord. Consistently give Him your cares, frustrations, tears, hurts, etc. He will sustain you. His grace IS sufficient.

I am led to give a brief synopsis of the what my family and I experienced in 2013. I pray this brings encouragement and joy to your life and that you be in awe of our Father and His goodness.

First come the trials..

**Doctors told us that I had a hernia, was at risk for diabetes and that our baby would have Down Syndrome. I was given this information at 19 weeks pregnant.

**I was put on a final write-up for being late to work. My lateness was a result of getting sick during my 40 minute commute and pulling off to the side of the road. My write-up was also for missing days so I could be tested for all of those pregnancy concerns. Some in management told my supervisor to fire me but she would not. Halleujah.

**There was an argument in the family which resulted in my family having to move out from amongst our other family abruptly, with no real money savings.
**With the help of someone, we moved into another place. While on maternity leave though, my short term disability money was a little behind. In addition, we only had one income, so we became behind on the rent. We were evicted with a toddler and a newborn and no place to go. . . A loving couple we know allowed us to bum off of them for a couple weeks. We then spent another couple weeks in and out of hotels. . .with a newborn and a toddler. . . I have a keep sake from each hotel

**My husband applied to job after job, had interview after interview and even job offers. But something from the past was preventing him from gaining employment.

**Our only car was repossessed.

**Family discord started/became worst between us and extended family. Unexpected division arose.

**Everything started to take a toll on my husband and I. We both started acting out of character. As a result, I tried to leave him. Not because he didn’t have a job, but because of the change in him from not having a job.

Meanwhile, friends and family were constantly condemning us, not fully knowing our situations but nonetheless were judgmental and lacking compassion. We were blamed for what was going on. We were made to feel that we were being punished for something(s). Much like Job was treated by his friends when he lost basically everything.

To God be ALL the glory though. We cried, became frustrated, confused, tired and weary but we never did curse God and die. He had my husband and I read the book of Job in early 2012, a couple months prior to our miscarriage of Baby Z. It took me a year and half later to grab hold to this one verse. . . After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10 The Holy Spirit gave this verse to me after some of those same family members began seeking us for guidance and encourage in spite of the condemnation we received from them. Not only that but the Lord was causing some of them to pour out major blessings upon us that they would definitively not do in themselves. It was only in obedience to Him . My God!! This verse lit a fire within me to not only desire restoration for us but blessings for others. We never want anyone to feel how we’ve felt over the past year. It is only God’s doing that I can smile, be healed, forgive and look back in laughter! Only God!!

And sure enough we have entered into a season of ABUNDANCE AND PEACE. Watch how HE turned it!!!

***We could not afford another ultrasound after the one supposedly showing baby girl with Down Syndrome. We could only pray and wait for her arrival. And in my Maury voice “The Holy Spirit determined that was a lie!!!” She is completely healthy and without any infirmities. We have even been told of how she will be ahead of her time in the things she will do in the world! Having Down Syndrome spoken over her gave the hubby and I a new sense of humility and respect for parents of children who have Down Syndrome. We have done much research and prayer for these people. We see those with Down Syndrome in such a different light now. I thank God for opening our eyes those special people.  May God continue to bless them and all others with specialties.

***While on maternity leave, my write-up was closed out. I received the two raises that were held up as a result of the several, yes several write-ups that I had prior to having my baby. My supervisor mentioned to me that she did not think I would return to work because of all the stress that I was under, but she closed it out anyway. Somethings changed while on maternity leave, which included a flex option. We can now miss work in less than a two week notice and make it up during the same week without penalty. Not only that but when I returned to work I was placed in a training class entitled “Fresh Start”. A couple of months later I was granted work at home (WAH) status under the “Special Release” program. Soon after starting WAH I applied for a promotion which I received and I am still allowed to work from home. WON'T. HE . DO. IT. ?!

***We are now living in a place where we pay our lowest monthly rent to date! We have PEACE, PRIVACY and a townhome which I have always wanted to leave in. Oh yeah, and no roaches unlike the second place we were evicted from this year, lol. I give God extra glory for that!!  I’ve lived that life before and I thank God that I am moving forward!

***The family is making efforts to unite and love like never before--both sides of our family. Atmospheres are peaceful now. God is touching hearts as only He, can do. I also want to add how happy we are for restoration with previous friendships!!

***Since my husband did not find any employment, he became his own employer. BOSS STATUS! He is using his God given talents to help others in the music industry. Our prosperity began from this project almost immediately. Aint God good?! You better say so!

***We are driving the car of a family member who has so graciously sacrificed for us in many areas. God shall repay them 1000 fold. Praise God for no car payments!

***What God has brought together, NO ONE, not even we ourselves can tear apart. My husband and I are still together and stronger than ever! Yes God! Areas that we struggled in for so long, such as communication and consistent fellowship come more freely to us because we stay plugged into the Father. When you realize God is all you have, you truly realize that HE, the I AM THAT I AM, the ALPHA AND OMEGA, BEGINNING AND THE END, THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH is all you need!! Everything has most certainly worked out for the good.

Please be encouraged folks. The Lord is no respecter of persons. He gives freely. You must only seek Him whole heartedly! And love Him with all your heart, soul, strength and mind. He showed me during those hard times that they were not only for our benefit but for others. He has called us to go through that others may not. Those times were used to strengthen us in Him. I saw myself on the battlefield fighting. I would get wounded and weary. At that time He would send someone out to give me a pep talk and some water but never did I leave the battlefield! This actually did happen in the natural. The Lord has His people strategically reach out to us in times of need. They were reminders that He was, and is still with us.

I am humbled by all we have experienced.

As I close out this post and we close out 2013 and I honestly say that I am thankful for the experiences. Do I want to experience them again, please Lord, no but they have caused me to grow like I could never imagine. Things that used to seem so pressing, so important are merely looked at as small distractions on this journey He has us on. Please pray Gods will for us and we will pray for you all as well. I speak the abundant favor and wisdom of the Lord on you all.

I really did try to make this brief, lol. If you want more details of our story, shoot me an email at p2tministry@gmail.com

Happy Happy Blessed New Year!!

DIAMOND STATUS

        This blog is dedicated to my wonderful and beautiful sister, Jackie! The Lord spoke to me regarding her and called her, His DIAMOND. (-: I know they are other Diamonds in the world as well. This blog is a dedication to you as well !
Side Note: be prepared to read the word "diamond" several times. DIAMOND, DIAMOND, DIAMOND!!

DIAMOND FORMATION
Diamonds are formed under a lot of pressure, usually about 100 miles below the earth's surface....100 miles?? talk about carrying a weight! Along with the pressure, the temperature is unreal hot, about 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. ( Going through the fire! ) The burden of this large amount of weight along with the high temperature is necessary to develop a diamond...such an ugly situation to create a stunning masterpiece. The place where the diamond develops is called the upper mantle. It was previously believed that all diamonds were formed from coal but that belief is discredited by some geologist who state diamonds are actually older than coal....God can create a diamond out of anything/anyone, He has no limitations.

Diamonds are formed over various time periods. Some diamonds develop over a series of days, weeks, months or even years.The process is not always continuous. Interruptions occur such as change in temperature, or pressure ( circumstances) that delay full formation . It is important to note that diamonds begin their developmental process again after getting through the interruption.

DIAMOND ENTRANCE
Diamonds reached the earth's surface, from the upper mantle through a unique, deep rooted, volcanic eruption that is really violent and happened millions of year ago...I think its safe to say this all happened before you were in your mother's womb. Please note that the diamond is already formed when it is birthed onto the Earth's surface through this violent volcano.( Travelling through the fire. Still in tact. Amazing beautiful.) Also note that the volcano happens quickly. If it were to go too long or too slow, the diamond would loose its diamond quality and turn to graphite (pencil lead). Timing makes the difference of a diamond versus pencil lead!! The speed and high temperature are much needed to keep the diamond atoms in place.



DIAMOND CHARACTERISTIC
Hardest and most flame resistant material. Period. Can withstand just about anything!! The level of hardness (toughness) is based on purity. The purer the diamond, (free from blemish and impurities) the harder it is. The purer the diamond, the more transparent it is. This transparency allows light to shine through and create beautiful colors. (Let your light so shine among men!) On a hardness scale from 1 to 10, a diamond is, of course, a 10. (Shawty, you're a 10 !) And although it may be possible for other materials to scratch a diamond, the hardest diamonds can only be scratched by other diamonds. ( Don't do that! Be united with other Diamonds! ) We can help each other shine or damage each other as women. Also, a diamond scratching another diamond can cause BOTH to be damaged. Its virtually non scratch-able characteristics makes it popular for everyday wearing such as in a wedding ring. (Which represents a sacred covenant)

DIAMOND RESISTANCE
Diamonds are not that reactive to other chemicals. Under room temperature (normal conditions) a diamond doesn't react at all. It is only under high temperatures, that a diamond reacts and even then it is only slightly. Only synthetic diamonds react to other agents. A true diamond is identified by its non reactive nature.

DIAMOND MAINTENANCE
Rough diamonds are transformed into gems through a process called cutting. It is an extremely time consuming, well developed process. (Our Father is the only One who can do this! (:  ) Although they are hard, diamonds can also be brittle and easily split if hit the wrong way. Therefore, caring for a diamond takes much skill, dedication and experience. After the cutting stage, a diamond goes through SEVERAL stages of polishing. Diamonds are usually polished very slowly and with great detail. It takes a special person to properly care for a diamond. (Our Father, our husbands) . After each polishing stage the diamond is then reexamined for flaws. Some flaws are allowed to remain, others must go. Its all for the good of this precious yet tough, beautiful diamond!!

So be you, Diamond! You are truly fearfully and wonderfully made!! 

DON'T PULL MY PONYTAIL!

When I was about six years old, my stepfather took my siblings and I to Paramount Kings Dominion.This was an annual trip, usually during the Summer months. My siblings and I always enjoyed the super fast rollercoasters, fun rides,tasty but pricey food and the infamous singing booth. We've actually brought home VHS tapes of our "performances" .

This one particular year stood out due to one small event. I have thought about it from time to time over the years but until now, never knew why it kept coming back to mind. On this day, I boarded a children's ride where the seats were inside of an airplane. There were maybe five planes in all and each plane has two seats inside. There was no covering, you sat in it as if you were sitting in a lawn chair. Your lower body was inside of the plane and thats where you were strapped in. These planes were white with red and blue trimming.

The airplanes went around in a large, circular motion, much like a carnival ride. You had the option to ride low or pull on the wheel to be lifted up and soar through the air! I, of course, wanted to soar.  I had the priveledge of boarding the plane first so I took the front seat, where the wheel was. I was able to control how high or low the plane would be and I was excited about it. Though my path was limited to the circular motion, predesigned with this ride, there was a sense of freedom. Freedom to view surrounding rides and games and fellow visitors.

Soon after I boarded there was a little boy ( slightly younger than I ) who boarded and sat in my airplane, directly behind me. We didn't say anything to each other. Not in a spirit of being mean but I was too busy waving and smiling at my family. Soon after he sat down, all riders were boarded and we were ready for lift off! I was so eager to get up in the air. As soon as we began moving, I pulled on the wheel. We were going higher and higher as we circled around the large medal pole holding us all together.

All of a sudden I was thrown of course! The little boy behind me began pulling my ponytail! My hair was split down the middle with long ponytails on either side of my head. He took the liberty of pulling the one on the right side until I took us back down! I couldn't believe it! How dare he get on this ride and not want to fly?! Why was he even here?! On an airplane?! I turned to look at his frightened face and thought surely he must be joking...you know, in 6 year old words. Attempting to convince him that his fear is unnecessary, I attempted a second launch. Again, came the ponytail pulling! And it was much harder this time! I became so angry. I turned around and yelled "Stop it! " He replied with "I'm scared. " Out of remorse, (must've been the older sister in me) i took us back down. I pouted and boy was I hot (for non country folks, hot means angry LOL) him with. I had folded arms and everything! I turned back around to look at him and he was the exact opposite; smiling through his tears and waving at the crowd. Really? This made me even more mad. I wanted to show off and wave and smile. Feel the wind, rise above it all. But here he was. A stick in the mud, scaredy cat. I COULD NOT wait for the ride to end so I could tattle on him; report him to the fun killers authorities. I knew nothing could be done about it but I atleast wanted the satisfaction of saying something to someone.

Needless to say my life went on and I rode several more rides after that. Looking back, I did learn a few things during this incident:
*Not everyone is willing to go higher so be careful who's in your company
*Not everyone on flight is onboard
*Don't let anyone stop you from going where you need to go. If God has placed you in the driver's seat, it's for a reason.
*Know what you are in store for. Don't just jump on the next thing moving.Do research
*If you agreed to ride as a passenger, trust the driver. They are able to see over the horizon. No backseat driving.
*Your steps are ordered by God. You may not know wny He's put someone else in charge of the situation but trust His will.
*Don't distract the driver(leader) or you won't be able to reach new heights.
*Drivers, don't be distracted! Stay focused even if others are not supportive. You have a destiny that you are called to help others reach. Reach the promised land! You are chosen for this task!

I was thrown off course before but it won't happen again!! I am going to new heights in the name of Jesus!

SPOT OUT YOUR SPOT

        Prior to cooking lunch one day, I decided to make a quick run to the grocery store. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot I noticed a parking spot near the front door. For whatever reason I didn't want that spot, I felt I could find a better location.Nothing was wrong with that particular spot but I wanted to make sure I didn't miss out on a spot that was somehow better. I had to see what was out there. So I drove a little further and ended up on the next row. I pulled into a spot and wouldn't you know it, ended up directly behind the original spot! SMH!! What else could I do but drive nicely through the spot I found and into the one I should've occupied from the beginning.

The Lord used this little moment in my life, this little run to the grocery store to minister to me. He showed me that this spot was waiting for me. It was mine. No one could have it because it was intended for me! Even though I tried to ignore Him (and the parking spot He provided for me) to do my own thing, His way prevails. It always prevails. There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 Only God's plan is right. Only His way leads to life. God's plan shall prevail .

I made it harder on myself and wasted time by going around the wrong way but by GOD'S GRACE I ended up where I was suppose to be. Lets not make things harder on ourselves. Lets go right into what God has for us. After all, it's a better "spot" anyway.  =)

I LOVE YOU

                "Yes, they mess up, they ignore Me but I love them anyway" says the Lord.
"I really want them to come to Me, to repent, to ask for forgiveness and salvation.
I eagerly wait for them to reach out to Me, to cry out for Me, to cast their cares upon Me. My heart grieves at the sight of things taking place that are unlike Me, but I love them all the same."

"Come to Me", says the Lord. "Wait no longer for no one knows your last hour but Me.

I'm here, with open arms, filled with love.
Love yourself because I made you.
Love others as yourself because I have commanded you.
Love because I love...so deeply, so sincerely.

Forgive yourself, no longer dwell in condemnation.
Forgive others because I have forgiven you.
Forgive as I do, throwing sins in the depths of the sea.

Come to me now, says the Lord. I love you dearly."